Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
