I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
