I puked a lego.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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