First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just threw up on my dentist
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
