I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
