you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
