I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
