Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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