Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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