I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
