Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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