toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
