We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My vagina just clenched in fear
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
