also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize