btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.