This dress was meant to end up on your floor
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.