go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.