I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Boobs speak an international language.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom