So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
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i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober