Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
