That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
