you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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