Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
