Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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