I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
