Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
