can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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