I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
