We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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