Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
