How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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