So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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