I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
