i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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