come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
