Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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