she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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