Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
