Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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