hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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