Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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