My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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