So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
