Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
