You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
