omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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