You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
