i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
