Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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