how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
