we have officially lost it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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