I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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