these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
