The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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