I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
nutella sex= disaster
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
