life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
