3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
