Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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