this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
