I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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