You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
