dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
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you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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