thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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