it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
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We have so much sex to catch up on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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