No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
