69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
