dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've blown a few things in my day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
