would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
