One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
