I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
