So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize