he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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